I used to masturbate, ever night, half asleep under my covers. Asked friends who struggled with the same thing.
Hard to do push ups when you're drifting off to unconscious already.
Then I started getting in the Word more. 6am. God first.
Also. Satan doesn't flee when you get closer to God. He tries harder. Trust me, the more I resist, the more I fight back, the more He pushes and tries to grab me by the chains of my lustful desires.
Then I recite 1 Corinthians 6:18.
"Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body."
Despair of the evil and death all around me and that my life seems to have no meaning. Fear as I see my finances very rapidly running out. Loneliness screams no one really cares or would miss me. Suicide because I just don’t know how I can bear it anymore. Every night at 3 a.m. Maranatha, Lord. PLEASE.
He hears you when you call out to Him. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned and the flam shall not consume you. For I am the Lord, Your God, Your Savior." (Isaiah 43:2-3a) The Lord whom you are calling out to, is your Savior and your protection from evil. God be with you, sister Donna.
Father told me, actually, ordered me, to: "I Want You to WAR with the 91st Psalm. So I looked it up, copied it into my notes, changed tense to be I and My, etc., and kept adding to it, demanding powers of hell to submit to MY authority, which is HIS authority. War is war. He teaches our hands to fight and fingers to war and vice versa.
For years, I went through what you are going through. An entire life of being suicidal. Around age 14, I took about 14 sleeping pills and didn't even get a good nap. HE protected me. Again and Again. All my life. Decades where I was lost, could have cared less about some God. I knew nothing but lonliness and emptiness, even though I had a successful career and artistic talents that I grew, so even with a love of learning and teaching myself, I was beyond broken and utterly hopeless.
Decades later, around late 50's in age, it ended. Forever.
One night, the hierarchy of hell assigned to get me to kill myself, changed. That night, I believe satan himself showed up. It was so different, so misleading, so sophisticated.
I was in bed and like usual, dark showed up. Torturing me with his leading of my thoughts. I kept following the yellow brick road, following hell, but I KNEW that night was different. I THOUGHT those were MY thoughts. They were leading me to a place where I could figure out a way to set up life so I could die and no one would know it was suicide. I thought I WAS THINKING. It was at a whole different level. Smooth Yellow brick road.
I got a huge lesson that night. In one nanosecond, FATHER SHOWED UP, and said, actually, He YELLED. "THOSE ARE NOT YOUR WORDS." Satan had also given me lying physical signs that night, as my ears were pounding so much I felt like I was out of my mind. After Papa yelled, everything satan was doing stopped. I followed through, and said, "Those are NOT my words." I repeated 2-3 more times. Each time, my ears got better and the pounding lessoned. Then, it was gone. It was the END of a lifetime spent of wanting to DIE. NOW, I WANT VENGENCE against HELL, for people, for America, for righteousness to be rebirthed and to bloom like a fragrant rose from heaven. He truly HAS raised me up from the dead over and over again. My heart goes out to you, I know...how HARD it is. Believe HIM, write that 91st, it protects you from everything. Pray WAR and He will anoint your hands for war and your fingers to fight. HE is setting UP YOUR TESTIMONY. THAT is His plan for YOU, my Dear Sister. Pray for the anointing of Jael and Deborah, Issachar and David, and get ready to defeat hell in your life. He IS arming you. I am sure of it.
Sister Donna, you’re surrounded by a cloud of saints and a Savior who has been there for you. Become relevant in this world by using whatever you have to offer to further His will.
I used to masturbate, ever night, half asleep under my covers. Asked friends who struggled with the same thing.
Hard to do push ups when you're drifting off to unconscious already.
Then I started getting in the Word more. 6am. God first.
Also. Satan doesn't flee when you get closer to God. He tries harder. Trust me, the more I resist, the more I fight back, the more He pushes and tries to grab me by the chains of my lustful desires.
Then I recite 1 Corinthians 6:18.
"Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body."
Despair of the evil and death all around me and that my life seems to have no meaning. Fear as I see my finances very rapidly running out. Loneliness screams no one really cares or would miss me. Suicide because I just don’t know how I can bear it anymore. Every night at 3 a.m. Maranatha, Lord. PLEASE.
He hears you when you call out to Him. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned and the flam shall not consume you. For I am the Lord, Your God, Your Savior." (Isaiah 43:2-3a) The Lord whom you are calling out to, is your Savior and your protection from evil. God be with you, sister Donna.
Thank you. That’s one of my favorite passages.
Father told me, actually, ordered me, to: "I Want You to WAR with the 91st Psalm. So I looked it up, copied it into my notes, changed tense to be I and My, etc., and kept adding to it, demanding powers of hell to submit to MY authority, which is HIS authority. War is war. He teaches our hands to fight and fingers to war and vice versa.
For years, I went through what you are going through. An entire life of being suicidal. Around age 14, I took about 14 sleeping pills and didn't even get a good nap. HE protected me. Again and Again. All my life. Decades where I was lost, could have cared less about some God. I knew nothing but lonliness and emptiness, even though I had a successful career and artistic talents that I grew, so even with a love of learning and teaching myself, I was beyond broken and utterly hopeless.
Decades later, around late 50's in age, it ended. Forever.
One night, the hierarchy of hell assigned to get me to kill myself, changed. That night, I believe satan himself showed up. It was so different, so misleading, so sophisticated.
I was in bed and like usual, dark showed up. Torturing me with his leading of my thoughts. I kept following the yellow brick road, following hell, but I KNEW that night was different. I THOUGHT those were MY thoughts. They were leading me to a place where I could figure out a way to set up life so I could die and no one would know it was suicide. I thought I WAS THINKING. It was at a whole different level. Smooth Yellow brick road.
I got a huge lesson that night. In one nanosecond, FATHER SHOWED UP, and said, actually, He YELLED. "THOSE ARE NOT YOUR WORDS." Satan had also given me lying physical signs that night, as my ears were pounding so much I felt like I was out of my mind. After Papa yelled, everything satan was doing stopped. I followed through, and said, "Those are NOT my words." I repeated 2-3 more times. Each time, my ears got better and the pounding lessoned. Then, it was gone. It was the END of a lifetime spent of wanting to DIE. NOW, I WANT VENGENCE against HELL, for people, for America, for righteousness to be rebirthed and to bloom like a fragrant rose from heaven. He truly HAS raised me up from the dead over and over again. My heart goes out to you, I know...how HARD it is. Believe HIM, write that 91st, it protects you from everything. Pray WAR and He will anoint your hands for war and your fingers to fight. HE is setting UP YOUR TESTIMONY. THAT is His plan for YOU, my Dear Sister. Pray for the anointing of Jael and Deborah, Issachar and David, and get ready to defeat hell in your life. He IS arming you. I am sure of it.
Test. Trial. Training. Tribulation. Triumph. Go low before going High. It is His process. Trust Him.
Sister Donna, you’re surrounded by a cloud of saints and a Savior who has been there for you. Become relevant in this world by using whatever you have to offer to further His will.
I will raise you one level or more, on breaking point level with my podcast here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/soberchristiangentlemanpodcast/p/s3-ep-6-pt-1of-3-be-prepared-for?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=31s3eo