I'm tired of autism, every day is an absolute nightmare, I can't even be in church or talk to people in real life as my nervous system sabotages me in ways only God will ever know. All I have is the Bible and talking to God, and quotes from old wise Christian men who wrote during their same struggles. I thank the Lord I'm not out having the time of my life somewhere on a million dollar boat surrounded by people who love me, but not knowing Him. I count it all as loss. I found the treasure in the field.
“When a man’s eye is closed on Christ and the eternal world, he cannot stand the shock of his afflictions; but if his eyes clearly see Jesus, you may take away houses and lands, his dearest earthly possessions, his loved ones, still his chief treasure is untouched.”
– Robert Murray M’Cheyne
“Lord, wean me from my sins, from my cares, and from this passing world. May Christ be all in all to me.”
-- Robert Murray M’Cheyne
"Believe to the end, even if all men went astray and you were left the only one faithful; bring your offering even then and praise God in your loneliness."
– Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His grace; Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face. His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour; The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flow’r.”
That's the whole gospel in one sentence. And you wrote it from a place most people would call defeat.
Your nervous system fights you every day. Church feels impossible. Conversation feels like war. And yet you're here, quoting M'Cheyne and Cowper and Dostoevsky. You know more about enduring faith than most pews full of comfortable people.
God doesn't need your social fluency. He needs your faithfulness. And you're giving Him that.
I don’t know how you do it. You are certainly a conduit of the messages from God. I relate to you in many ways. All of the jobs failed. Starting over and starting to look well, replacing losses only to lose another job and to have to sell everything to live and start over again. What women puts up with that? None of them. Seven by my count. The last one twice and she had no reason to leave the second time. That broke me. I sit here listening to praise music on Pandora and I read your eloquent sermon. Seeing so much of myself in your experiences and sad because I don’t have a Christie. I appreciate you and thank you for connecting with me on a level that is a dead on accurate sniper shot. I’m not going to do it today. I think instead I’m going to live and see what my precious Lord has going on. Maybe I’ll do something right. Stranger things have happened. Thank you Adam.
You chose to live. That's not a small thing. That's the Holy Spirit holding you by the collar when everything in you wanted to let go.
Seven times knocked down. Still here. Still listening to praise music. Still reading. Still fighting. That's not failure. That's endurance. And endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:4. You're living that verse right now whether you feel it or not.
You don't need a Christie to matter. You need Christ. And He's clearly not done with you.
Thank you. I really, really needed to hear that message. I too am a first generation Christian plagued with a life that fell wildly short of what I envisioned.
Mike, first generation Christian here too. No blueprint. No family legacy. Just a Bible and a willingness to be terrible at faith until God made something out of it.
The life you envisioned wasn't the one He planned. His is better. It just doesn't look like it yet. Keep building.
Felt like I was reading my story all the way through. Different scenarios but same story. Took me 30 years to figure out he was shaping me the whole time and still does today! Amazing
God is a teacher. Sometimes we understand and pass onto the next level right away. Sometimes we need to repeat a class-or ten. I’m just thankful Jesus has been patient with me until I learned. But there have been more lessons and more yet to come. It seems moving to eternity is a graduation of sorts. However, while we are still here we will always be learning.
One thing you have learned well is writing honestly and with spiritual insight. I’m sure you bring Jesus much joy! You help us a lot.
I read this, for the second time, tears streaming down my face. Amazed, at Him, Christ our King. Pure choice, pure will; no force in creation could make Him do anything, ever, at any moment. But, for...us, in His Word, the joy set before Him. A joy that rebelled, blasphemed, betrayed, mocked, disregarded, humiliated, killed, and continues to selfishly betray Him regularly, His joy remains in us. Scandalously amazing. A miracle. He could have been anything, but He is the most beautiful Being ever. Our King of kings. May God bless you, Brother. Thank you for writing.
For a moment, I am left in silence, overwhelmed by the realization that God loves us far more deeply than we can comprehend. And yet, so often, we remain unaware of His love, distracted and running after things never meant to satisfy us. We chase what fades, while the One who truly loves us waits with open arms.
He would have accepted death even just for one of us, so much is His love for us.
To think that someone with full divine power would walk with us and understand our daily struggle so that whatever he tells us to do, He can say it firmly because He did it too in his earthly form.
Every day when we wake up, we must thank Christ Jesus not just for dying for us, but for rising and living in us.
I'm tired of autism, every day is an absolute nightmare, I can't even be in church or talk to people in real life as my nervous system sabotages me in ways only God will ever know. All I have is the Bible and talking to God, and quotes from old wise Christian men who wrote during their same struggles. I thank the Lord I'm not out having the time of my life somewhere on a million dollar boat surrounded by people who love me, but not knowing Him. I count it all as loss. I found the treasure in the field.
“When a man’s eye is closed on Christ and the eternal world, he cannot stand the shock of his afflictions; but if his eyes clearly see Jesus, you may take away houses and lands, his dearest earthly possessions, his loved ones, still his chief treasure is untouched.”
– Robert Murray M’Cheyne
“Lord, wean me from my sins, from my cares, and from this passing world. May Christ be all in all to me.”
-- Robert Murray M’Cheyne
"Believe to the end, even if all men went astray and you were left the only one faithful; bring your offering even then and praise God in your loneliness."
– Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His grace; Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face. His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour; The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flow’r.”
– William Cowper
Jim,
"I found the treasure in the field."
That's the whole gospel in one sentence. And you wrote it from a place most people would call defeat.
Your nervous system fights you every day. Church feels impossible. Conversation feels like war. And yet you're here, quoting M'Cheyne and Cowper and Dostoevsky. You know more about enduring faith than most pews full of comfortable people.
God doesn't need your social fluency. He needs your faithfulness. And you're giving Him that.
You're not alone, brother. Not even close.
I don’t know how you do it. You are certainly a conduit of the messages from God. I relate to you in many ways. All of the jobs failed. Starting over and starting to look well, replacing losses only to lose another job and to have to sell everything to live and start over again. What women puts up with that? None of them. Seven by my count. The last one twice and she had no reason to leave the second time. That broke me. I sit here listening to praise music on Pandora and I read your eloquent sermon. Seeing so much of myself in your experiences and sad because I don’t have a Christie. I appreciate you and thank you for connecting with me on a level that is a dead on accurate sniper shot. I’m not going to do it today. I think instead I’m going to live and see what my precious Lord has going on. Maybe I’ll do something right. Stranger things have happened. Thank you Adam.
Doug,
I read every word of this. Twice.
You chose to live. That's not a small thing. That's the Holy Spirit holding you by the collar when everything in you wanted to let go.
Seven times knocked down. Still here. Still listening to praise music. Still reading. Still fighting. That's not failure. That's endurance. And endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:4. You're living that verse right now whether you feel it or not.
You don't need a Christie to matter. You need Christ. And He's clearly not done with you.
Keep going, brother. I mean that.
Thank you. I really, really needed to hear that message. I too am a first generation Christian plagued with a life that fell wildly short of what I envisioned.
Mike, first generation Christian here too. No blueprint. No family legacy. Just a Bible and a willingness to be terrible at faith until God made something out of it.
The life you envisioned wasn't the one He planned. His is better. It just doesn't look like it yet. Keep building.
He chose me. He left the 99 and I know the exact moment He came for me....
That moment changes everything. Glad you know yours.
It certainly did....And I am too.
I'm praying that the blessings in your new year be plentiful.
Yes! The good shepherd knows His sheep. Thank you Lord for seeing me.
He does. And He doesn’t look away.
"Made decisions from panic instead of peace." I did this yesterday.
I’m a longtime believer, but I never realized before what you said about Jesus’s choice of words at this very moment:
“ ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’
The only time He didn’t say ‘Father.’
Because in that moment, He wasn’t the Son.
He was sin.
Your sin. My sin. Every sin.”
You confirm what I always believed, preaching through the power of the Holy Spirit trumps the seminarian! God's way is much better than mans!
Felt like I was reading my story all the way through. Different scenarios but same story. Took me 30 years to figure out he was shaping me the whole time and still does today! Amazing
Thank you for your always thoughtful and insightful texts that you send each day!! I greatly appreciate them!!!!! Gary Warrick
This is beautiful truth!
God is a teacher. Sometimes we understand and pass onto the next level right away. Sometimes we need to repeat a class-or ten. I’m just thankful Jesus has been patient with me until I learned. But there have been more lessons and more yet to come. It seems moving to eternity is a graduation of sorts. However, while we are still here we will always be learning.
One thing you have learned well is writing honestly and with spiritual insight. I’m sure you bring Jesus much joy! You help us a lot.
I read this, for the second time, tears streaming down my face. Amazed, at Him, Christ our King. Pure choice, pure will; no force in creation could make Him do anything, ever, at any moment. But, for...us, in His Word, the joy set before Him. A joy that rebelled, blasphemed, betrayed, mocked, disregarded, humiliated, killed, and continues to selfishly betray Him regularly, His joy remains in us. Scandalously amazing. A miracle. He could have been anything, but He is the most beautiful Being ever. Our King of kings. May God bless you, Brother. Thank you for writing.
Amen 🥺🫂
This is truly amazing. Glory to God.
For a moment, I am left in silence, overwhelmed by the realization that God loves us far more deeply than we can comprehend. And yet, so often, we remain unaware of His love, distracted and running after things never meant to satisfy us. We chase what fades, while the One who truly loves us waits with open arms.
Amen and Amen.
He would have accepted death even just for one of us, so much is His love for us.
To think that someone with full divine power would walk with us and understand our daily struggle so that whatever he tells us to do, He can say it firmly because He did it too in his earthly form.
Every day when we wake up, we must thank Christ Jesus not just for dying for us, but for rising and living in us.
Dear Adam,
Thankyou for your great sweep of God's plan to redeem us. Many years ago I wrote a hymn with a similar thought in mind.
I will copy it here and I hope it strikes a chord too.
Yours,
Audrey
Lord in Your image we were made,
Walked by Your side in Eden's shade
With peace and love around us displayed,
Your Name to glorify.
But evil crept into the scene,
Crafty the serpent did intervene;
With doubt and lie to come between
Us and our Lord most high.
Lord, how You grieved Your creatures to slay
Made clothes to cover our shame on that day,
The first blood shed, atonement to pay,
Your wrath to satisfy.
Thus was earth cursed with sorrow and pain.
Yet Lord, Your promise is never in vain.
The woman's Seed would conquer and gain,
Though hate would crucify.
Lord, from Your Father heart He came,
Helpless, a baby, to share in our shame.
From sin to save us - Jesus His name.
Glory to God on high.
Into our darkness entered the light,
Silently, gently, dispelling sin's night,
His grace and truth restoring our sight,
Through faith to justify.
Angels proclaim His birth from on high.
Shepherds to see the Good Shepherd draw nigh,
While Mary softly sings lullaby,
'My soul doth magnify.'
Lord, as the shepherds ran to obey,
So may we faithfully serve You alway,
And with the angels, sing day by day,
'Glory to God on high!'
Audrey Jordan December 2001 Tune Saffron Walden (527 TAHB)
Lord, how Your Spirit makes our hearts burn,
As with creation we labour and yearn
In certain hope that when You return,
With You we’ll reign on High.
Supplementary verse 7 Nov 2011