I Watched The Numbers All Day. Here’s What I Learned.
It’s Black Friday weekend.
The biggest sales weekend of the year.
I woke up at 5 AM. Checked Stripe. Checked Gumroad. Refreshed. Waited. Refreshed again.
You know what the numbers said?
Not much.
And I sat there with my coffee getting cold, watching other creators post their “RECORD BREAKING BLACK FRIDAY” screenshots, and I felt that old familiar lie creeping back in:
Maybe this isn’t working.
Maybe I’m wasting my time.
Maybe I should just go back to the garbage truck.
Here’s what I know about that voice:
It’s not from God.
It’s the same voice that told Moses he couldn’t speak. The same voice that told Gideon he was too weak. The same voice that told Peter he was just a fisherman.
That voice doesn’t measure your obedience.
It measures your outcomes.
And outcomes are God’s business. Not yours.
I’ve got friends coming over tonight.
My wife is probably wondering why I’m still staring at my phone.
And somewhere between the slow sales and the dinner prep, I remembered something:
I didn’t start this for the numbers.
I started this because I watched a good friend die without knowing who they were in Christ.
I started this because I spent years in a church that never told me the truth about headship, about authority, about what it means to lead a family.
I started this because I’d rather reach one man who actually changes than a thousand who just click “like.”
So here’s my Black Friday confession:
The numbers were bad today.
And I’m still here.
Because this was never about the numbers.
If you’re reading this and you had a bad sales day — welcome to the club.
If you’re reading this and you’re wondering if your calling is real because the world isn’t applauding — it’s real.
The prophets were broke. The apostles were beaten. Jesus died with nothing.
You’re in good company.
Now I’m going to close my laptop, hug my wife, and go be present with my friends.
The numbers will be there tomorrow.
And so will I.
